i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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