he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
