: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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