Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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