Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
