He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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