I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
