your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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