The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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