"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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