I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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