this boner is exhausting
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
