This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
