I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
