Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
