Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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