tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Buhtt sex?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
