Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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