i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
