I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
lets start a swedish sibling band together
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
