we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
