Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
