so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
