Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
