i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Everything about him screamed your future.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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