batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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