I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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