U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
MIDGETS
????
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
