1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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