I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
