maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
