Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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