Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
