Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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