Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I love having hate sex.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
