Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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