yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
