I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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