My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
