Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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