just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
