she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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