I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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