So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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