sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
