I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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