She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
