My hair reeks of homosexuality.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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