her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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