just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
