It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
