I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
