the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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