I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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